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Jun. 6th, 2020 08:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_gendermanIn other news, I've been having a bit of a crisis of identity for a few months now, like, do I still have a place in Marvel fandom? Honestly, I don't know. I still like my handful of fave characters, but I haven't written much for them in a long while. I tried to branch out into other parts of the MCU, other characters, and I did get some ficlets written that I like well enough, but the pull isn't there anymore. I'm in a couple bangs still, signed up as an artist because I'm still clinging, but also drawing without having to figure out the entire story behind it all myself feels less insurmountable.
Am I leaving entirely? Probably not, but I don't see myself really getting active again. I still have WIPs and ideas on my to-write list that I'd like to write, but there's no timeline on any of them. I'm just feeling unmoored, not sure if I have places I can get excited over my fic and have people also get excited over them, too. There's one discord server that maybe I can find people who will get hyped over my ideas enough to get me over my complete lack of spoons, but it also feels like either everyone in there already knows each other (and if so, breaking into a tight friend-group is near impossible for someone like me), or else they're like, Tony fans, and not likely to get exited about either my Stucky or SamSteve ideas.
Basically, if I'm gonna be in a fandom where I don't know anyone (or the people who I kinda-sorta know, don't talk to me for the most part), then I might as well become a Pokemon blog. (Or, well, it's a distinct possibility I might shift (back) into Pokemon fic and art. There will probably be a "hybrid" stage where I'm posting about both. Or it'll just be my normal talking-to-myself with very little fandom stuff, but I'm in a different fandom.)
Am I leaving entirely? Probably not, but I don't see myself really getting active again. I still have WIPs and ideas on my to-write list that I'd like to write, but there's no timeline on any of them. I'm just feeling unmoored, not sure if I have places I can get excited over my fic and have people also get excited over them, too. There's one discord server that maybe I can find people who will get hyped over my ideas enough to get me over my complete lack of spoons, but it also feels like either everyone in there already knows each other (and if so, breaking into a tight friend-group is near impossible for someone like me), or else they're like, Tony fans, and not likely to get exited about either my Stucky or SamSteve ideas.
Basically, if I'm gonna be in a fandom where I don't know anyone (or the people who I kinda-sorta know, don't talk to me for the most part), then I might as well become a Pokemon blog. (Or, well, it's a distinct possibility I might shift (back) into Pokemon fic and art. There will probably be a "hybrid" stage where I'm posting about both. Or it'll just be my normal talking-to-myself with very little fandom stuff, but I'm in a different fandom.)
